What is sexual narcissism?


Sexual narcissists are subtle, attractive and seductive until ... they remove the mask. What is a sexual narcissist?

How happy your partner makes you could be determined by how much sex your friends think you are having, if you are a sexual narcissist, of course. This is the conclusion of a study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto (Canada).

The key of the sexual narcissist is to use the other for satisfaction or pleasure of oneself, that is, I love you and I want to be with you if you please me, you spoil me, you go for me ... the only important thing in the relationship is him. It should not be confused with the typical narcissist, since the sexual narcissist has a tendency to exploit others, lack of empathy, feelings of grandeur and an excessive need for validation in the sexual domain, the authors write.


The experts analyzed how comparing their sex life with others could affect sexual relationship and satisfaction. They found that almost everyone is curious about other people's sex lives, but sexual narcissists in particular are most likely to be affected by comparisons.

"Individuals with a high degree of sexual narcissism tend to make comparisons with those who are sexually less skilled, for example," says Lisa Day, co-author of the paper.

The study was performed in several phases. First, it was investigated whether people with a high level of sexual narcissism were more likely to compare with those who considered themselves to be worse off in the sexual realm. This involved the participation of 173 people who had to remember the times in which they compared their sexual adventures with others, including sexual frequency, specific sexual activities or sexual satisfaction in general. Then, they evaluated how it was with that comparison.

The results revealed that sexual narcissists were more inclined to make a downward comparison, basically comparing themselves to someone they felt superior to. So, the better they thought they were making him more sexual satisfaction.

For the second experiment, they evaluated 201 people about how they would be affected by ascending and descending social comparisons. Did it bother you that a friend had more sex? It turns out that sexual narcissists are less happy in their own relationships if others have more sex.

In the final phase, 665 participants read fake articles about couples who had sex more often than they would in fact, to re-test comparisons with self-satisfaction. Sexual narcissists became less happy with their own sexual lives and relationships if other people intimated more often.

The authors point out that this research is a starting point for future studies on how sexual narcissists behave with their romantic partners.

According to an article published in Psychology Today, sexual narcissists can be charming, have an exorbitant sense of self and prioritize the physical over the emotional. Other studies have also shown that sexual narcissists are more likely to be addicted to sex, the use of physical force and lies.

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